Farewell

So the reason for quitting FFXI… it's kind of a long story. A short version is that, for over 8 years, I've been addicted to the game. I started playing when the game was released, during which I was a senior in high school. I had been playing Phantasy Star Online on the Dreamcast for quite a few years and I was ready for a true MMO experience… and I loved it. Starting out I was pretty terribad but I had a blast and I played as much as I could. I'd go to school tired but, at the time, it was worth it. When I went off to college I was so addicted that I would never go to any of my classes. If I had lived in the college dorms I don't believe that I'd have succumed to the addiction as much as I did; however, the dorms filled up almost instantly and I had to live in an apartment that was, by T (Boston), about 45 minutes away from the college. I never went to class because all I wanted to do was play FFXI. I failed out my first semester and decided that I needed a big change in my life… so I joined the military. For almost a year I was FFXI free. Once I got to my first duty station I had a new life, a new car, and a new job. I brought my PC from home and almost instantly returned to playing FFXI. All throughout boot camp and tech school all I thought about was getting back to leveling so I played even longer and harder in order to make up for lost time. I'd go out and party with my service mates every once in a while but for the most part I'd play FFXI. A few years later I shipped out to Japan and, in order to keep this "short story" from becoming a novel, let's just say I didn't play FFXI at all for about a year. Shit happened and I started to play again, although I created a new account on Ifrit (a Taru!) and, for some reason, played SMN and PLD. After I got back to the states I went back to Yuriki and played for quite some time. I quit playing for a short time until I met Aliten (IRL) who convinced me to switch to his server, Unicorn (I had been playing on Cait Sith for the entire time except for my brief stint with my Taru on Ifrit). From there I bounced between a few ls until I made ChariCharisREVENGE. During this time I played more than I ever had before, and regardless of the effect on my real life, I had a fucking blast. I met so many awesome folks, a few punks, and unfortunately my real life was just a temporary distraction until I was able to get home and play.

For anything that has happened I blame myself and not the game. I was the one who let myself play for so many hours, etc… I do want to say that I don't think that there is anything wrong with how long I played. There are many people who have played for far more hours than I have (those who has relics and mythics come to mind) and those people may or may not have any real world issues. As most of you know, I have two children (5 and 2) a wife, a job, and college (which I've put off going back for more reasons than just FFXI although the game has been a factor). I'm an avid reader and I'd always chose FFXI over a book. I love physics, cosmology, and mostly anything that encompasses the genre of science, and I'd always put off reading or watching anything related in order to play FFXI. I love my kids and my family… and I'd often put FFXI before them. For someone who is able to fulfill the demands of their lifestlye and play FFXI… even if it's for hours upon hours each day… then so be it. If it works then it works. Most games have gear, missions, storyline, etc… for those who are able to spend so much time playing. For those of us that put off real world responsibilities in order to satisfy our needs/wants in virtual reality… that's when an addiction to the game becomes an issue. Fortunately I was not as deep into the addiction as some people. I still took care of my family, played with my kids, went to the gym, went to work, etc…; however, my addiction to the game has been HOLDING ME BACK from so much that, looking back, I almost regret how much time I've invested into FFXI. I am the type of person who tries not to regret my decisions, so I will take what I've learned and move on.

As I said earlier, the most memorable experiences in my FFXI "career," barring the experience of playing for the first time (nothing will ever beat those first few months where everything was new, including the entire MMO experience), has been with our linkshell. I've explained to most people that the CCR we all know and hopefully love is "version 2." To briefly elaborate, I made the linkshell on the Unicorn server and invited a few people to join. We all played together for a while and it was fun. We didn't have very many people and, because of the nature of the game at that time (Abyssea), we pretty much low manned everything we needed. Once Unicorn merged with Fenrir the true colors of everyone showed and I either had to kick people or they left of their own accord. That was "version 1." "Version 2" started with… I believe Emirii, Ryos, Arhtnam, and Jengaa. Ali had a brief hiatus at this point. We all know what happened with Ryos and Jengaa, but from there to now is the history of CCR. This "version 2," so to speak, has been the best part of my FFXI career. I've had an absolutely amazing experience with all of you, as well as many people who are not in the shell. I realize that the ls stayed fairly small in size, and this was mostly due to personal preference.

I tried to help out all of my ls members as much as possible, regardless if there was any gear/item reward involved. I do admit to pushing pretty much everything off in order to finish my Ochain, but in my defense I had the first stage completed for months before dedicating myself to finishing it ASAP. I understand that not every decision that I made was the best one, and that I have made many mistakes, but regardless, running the linkshell has been the best part of my time in FFXI and I hope everyone has had a great time as well.

I'll admit that I'm pretty bummed about leaving the game. All of the good times that I've had, all of the time spent obtaining whichever item for whoever, and the friendships that I've developed with everyone leave me wondering if I REALLY need to quit, if I can maybe control my play time, if I should just leave it activated and pop in from time to time. My favorite part of FFXI is helping others obtain or complete whatever they're after and I can't do much to help when I don't play very often. I can't leave my account active to pop in every so often as it's a waste of money… and, my ultimate reason, is that the game isn't as fun for me anymore. A major factor has been the constant empy runs three times a week. Doing the same thing over and over and over just become quite boring, and the only reason I was able to stand it was because of how much everyone enjoyed their empy once we finished it. The Ochain was the final straw. It took so long to finish (mostly duo with Laj) mostly because of how bored we were getting the Colorless Souls and Azdaja Horns (it is horns, right?). After finishing it I was SO relieved but I almost felt empty any time I'd play. I had spent about a month, if not more, grinding on souls and horns, trying to stay dedicated to finishing, pushing off everything besides the empy static. The game hasn't been the same since, but it did help me realize how much FFXI has affected my life, so I am grateful.

I've ranted long enough, so I'll wrap this up. I'd like to thank everyone that I've played with for the amazing experience. If anyone wants to keep in touch, feel free to add me on Twitter (@finalmike) or Facebook (send me your info and I'll add you). You can add me on Playstion Network with the handle Panera. I also started playing Aion, albeit very casually, so if you want to join me I'm on the Kahrun server. I'm also going to check and post here on Guildwork often.

It's been fun.

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